But I had seen enough to know that everything I thought about everything had pretty much been wrong so far. I'd been a decent guy, as far as I could tell. Of course the sky looked better-Heaven being what it was and all. I wasn't sure I was ready to see whatever was out there to see. I guess the sky in real life isn't actually perfect. Just like the sky in real life, only a little more blue and a little less sun in my eyes. He saved the world, but he shattered mine. And he didn't want to go, but he had to anyway. Sometimes I didn't think I was worth it either.Įthan thought he was doing the right thing. Sometimes I didn't think the world was worth it. Knowing he did it for me only made me feel worse. Knowing why didn't make me feel any better. The most important person in my life died jumping off the Summerville water tower. I couldn't write poetry it hurt to even read it. I couldn't stand to look at my journal anymore. Like it's my life that shattered when he-when This-Įthan-everything-it isn't ending, has no sign Life without Ethan was something worse than a nightmare. That muddy black sneaker wasn't supposed to drop. And it couldn't be how my life was supposed to be. It wasn't how his life was supposed to be. But this wasn't like anything I'd ever seen in any nightmare. Before I knew him, or at least knew he was going to be Ethan. I'd had nightmares about him a thousand times before. I'd hear Link's bad music coming through the open window, before I even saw Ethan behind the wheel.
I hoped I'd wake up, and he'd be waiting out in the driveway, in front of Ravenwood, to take me to school.
I saw that muddy black sneaker dropping from the top of the water tower every time I closed my eyes. I couldn't talk about it, but I couldn't stop thinking about it either.Įthan's shoe dropping to the ground, seconds before.
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